Couples Therapy

In couples therapy, our first goal is to help both of you get out of distress.  This entails stepping out of the cycle that couples get themselves entangled in.  Understanding that any tension and conflict that arises is a protest for a lack of connection and a threat to a secure bond.

The hope of our work together is:

  • to help both of you as a couple reprocess your experience, focusing particularly on your emotional experience of the relationship.
  • to help both of you as a couple to restructure your relationship dance.  Identifying the habitual cycles of conflict that you get stuck in and learning new ways of responding to each other.

I recognize that a good couples therapist is someone who listens deeply and attentively to each partner in the relationship.  I will be mindful of being balanced and know that I must sometimes follow the pace and sometimes lead, rather than be an expert who tells partners how their relationship should be.

The goal of couples therapy is to reprocess your experience and reorganize interactions to create or return to a sense of secure connectedness between partners.  The focus is on attachment concerns: on how accessible, responsive and engaged partners are to each other and on the obstacles that get in the way of a safe and secure attachment.